A most hilarious incident at my Gentleman’s club…

Let me tell you that I witnessed the most splendid event yesterday. I contacted old Bookbinder and told him “I haven’t got a clue what to write about on horseMEAT this week. Maybe you could meet me at my club in Mayfair to discuss.”

Anyway, whilst I was waiting at the club for Bookbinder to turn up, I heard the most terrible argument and commotion emanating from down the stairs. Suddenly, Bookbinder burst through the door, closely followed by ‘Stroppy’ Harris, the Doorman.

“Humphrey!” shouted old Bookbinder, “I’ve just had to bear the most vile abuse from this…creature!!!”

‘Stroppy’ Harris walked over and said “I’m sorry Mr Bumphrey sir, but I’m under express orders not to let Mr Bookbinder into the club. The last time he was here, he was passing such terrible wind that we received several complaints, and some gentlemen felt quite ill and had to leave.”

The place erupted into laughter, and old Goldberg shouted from the corner “I don’t know about you editing horseMEAT Bookbinder, but I suspect that you live on a diet of horsemeat – or possibly lentils, judging by the gas that you were releasing that day.”

Poor old Bookbinder turned crimson with rage, started stamping his feet on the floor and shouted “HOW DARE YOU!! I have no desire to remain here for another second, and listen to insults from…you..you…COMMON TRADESMEN!!!”

He pirouetted around, but unfortunately tripped over his own shoelace and fell flat on his face. Cue more uproarious laughter from the club members. Poor old Nigel got back on his feet and started wagging his finger at me and shrieked “I blame you for all this Bumphrey. Asking me over to this…SQUAT, only to be abused by these…LAYABOUTS. Well, I’ve got work to do. I bid you good day sir.”

And off he marched. Oh dear. Poor old Bookbinder. Anyway, I still haven’t got a clue what to write for horseMEAT this week.