a potent and sobering warning about the danger of ‘evil avocados’…

It seems as if recent sightings of Michelmas the evil avocado have caused many people to share their experiences with us.

Dean Kelly from Buffalo, New York informed us:

“I arrived home from work on evening and upon entering the living room, I was horrified to see a ghoulish looking avocado perched in the V-Neck of my wife’s top, and it was giving me a most awful grin. I shouted at my wife ‘Look down at your top’, but it vanished before my eyes.”


He continues…

“My life was perfect until that point. I had a great job and a wonderful marriage. However, from that point onwards, things started to go wrong. Firstly, my wife and I started to argue constantly about the smallest things. After a few months, I ended up moving out. Then I was mysteriously fired from my job. With no money, and no other job to go to, I started drifting, staying in cheap motels, then took to drink.”

He finishes:

“That was ten years ago, and only now am I putting my life back together again. Of course, there is no proof that the avocado was responsible for any of this, but it is hardly coincidental that my descent into a personal hell started at the time when it briefly appeared in my life. All I feel now is anger. Not at the avocado itself, but at the government. All I hear about is how the government wishes to protect ordinary citizens from the effects of crime and terrorism. But what are they doing to protect us from the effects of ‘evil avocados’. Seemingly nothing at all. When are these people going to wake up and realize that this is something that they cannot afford to ignore any longer.”

Fine sentiments indeed. Exactly what are western governments doing to combat the menace of ‘evil avocados’?

If you have ever suffered from a visit from Michelmas or any other evil avocado, we suggest that you contact your Member of Parliament to highlight the issue. Even if you have not suffered directly, contact them anyway to highlight this dangerous, but often ignored danger that is lurking out there.

Who knows. It could be you next.