an end to the evictions at Horsemeat Enterprises?

If you have been following this thread you will know that I recently instituted ‘Big-Brother’ style evictions at Horsemeat Enterprises, forcing employees to nominate fellow employees for ‘eviction’ (read: sacking).

However, my plans were cut short earlier when I received a call from Grandpa Bumphrey from his base in Geneva.

“Oh Humphrey,” he droned on. “I hear that you are up to your old tricks again. The family members are aware and do not approve. Please remember that Horsemeat Enterprises is actually owned by The Bumphrey Trust, and is not your personal property. I suggest that you cease this nonsense at once, otherwise I will see to it that you are cast out without a penny to your name. We do not want any negative publicity. I do not want to have to speak with my lawyers. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I understand. Sorry Grandpa. I will cease it at once.” After much additional groveling, the old man seemed placated.

Damn the old goat! Every-time I try and have a little fun, the old fool manages to step in and spoil everything.

After making the necessary calls to Horsemeat Enterprises to ‘get back to business as usual’, I left my Penthouse in a filthy mood. I walked past a shop doorway and was interrupted by a vagrant asking me “to spare some change for a cup of tea”. I looked down upon the miserable specimen and replied “So, you wish to take the food out of my mouth?”. I then subjected him to a savage beating.

I then smashed in a few car headlights with my gold-tipped cane, stomped back to my penthouse, drank a huge tumbler of scotch, grabbed the phone and called Terry (the Commissionaire in our building). “Terry, old chap. Can you order a few cases of champagne, spirits and beer, and have them charged to me. Also, get some girls round. There will be a large ‘drink’ in it for you of course…” Terry understood implicitly what he had to do. I then phoned my friends and announced “Get round to Planet Bumphrey. Open House. I sense a fantastic debauch in the offing…”