Financial difficulties can be a great spur to creative action…

Having taken stock of my need to undertake economies of scale, I decided the most positive thing I can do is to earn some more money.

Therefore, this morning I set about in a buzz of industry with the aim of completing several unfinished articles and essays for publication. Hopefully the publishers of ‘Le Moderne Edwardian’ journal will provide me with a generous stipend when they publish these fine pieces.

After a couple of hours I was completely absorbed in my subject matter. One of the essays is entitled “THE IMPORTANCE OF SIDE-WHISKERS. A BLUEPRINT FOR THE 21st CENTURY”. I have been working on this particular piece for five years, and the thesis is that many modern ills such as crime, drugs and hooliganism can be reduced if young people would sport generous pairs of side-whiskers and start wearing tweeds once again.

I remember a phrase that papa would often utter. “Nigel,” he boomed, “A man who does not wear tweeds is not a man at all. He is no better than a common beast.”

Fine words of wisdom. If only young people would fortify themselves by consuming generous amounts of deviled kidneys and kedgeree, then we may see the beginnings of a more civilized society one again.

Ah! A splendid honorarium awaits Monsieur Bookbinder. Time for a glass of champagne and back to work…