A lunch appointment with my celebrity acquaintances…

Yesterday I ventured out after a long absence and went out to lunch with Lionel Blair (the tap-dancer famous for his appearances on the TV Show ‘Give us a Clue’ and who also happens to be the half-brother of Prime Minister Tony). His great friend Travis Pickle also accompanied us.

After the meal I ended, Lionel escorted me a taxi, handed me a Twix, and gave me the following piece of advice.

“Nigel,” he explained, “Everything you previously believed is unbelievable. Nothing that appears real is real, while what appears to be unreal is also not real. Black is White. Red is Yellow. And Green is Purple. Tie your shoelaces, tip waiters, don’t drive the wrong lane of a motorway, and you should live a happy a peaceful life.”

I thanked Lionel for his sage comments and went off in the taxi. A minute later a speeding car slammed into the side of the taxi and I was knocked unconscious…