Totally and utterly ‘lost the plot’…

After having emerged from a month of debauchery and excess I felt totally at a loss about what to do next. Therefore, I called my old school chum Basil Saltly and announced “Basil. Its Humph. I think I’ve totally and utterly lost the plot…”

“Lost the plot?” he asked.

“Yes. I’ve lost the plot. Big style” I replied.

“Well then, you’d better find the plot” he replied. “Do you know how expensive a ‘plot’ is these days?”

“No I don’t…”

“Highly expensive. I think we are talking six figure sums. Therefore, if you’ve lost the plot, I recommend that you start looking for it. You need to find that plot, Humph old chap.”

“Find the plot?”

“Yes! Find it! When was the last time that you had the plot?”

“Oh, about a month ago… I think…”

“Well, think harder. Think about where you were when you last had the plot. Try and retrace your steps, and that should lead you back to the plot. I always could make arrangements for you to acquire a new plot, but it won’t be cheap. And I’ll want my ten percent, you understand?”

“That’s OK Basil. I’ll find the plot. Thanks for the advice.”

I put the phone down and groaned. I should have known better than phone that fool. It just goes to confirm that I really have lost the plot.

I opened a bottle of scotch and started to think. Maybe I can try and recover the plot…Tomorrow…