‘Moving Houses’ – pushing the boundaries of reality television…

Switch over to UN-RE-AL-I.T.TV9 where you will see the latest offering from horseMEAT productions entitled ‘Moving Houses’.

Sticking to our successful formula of taking reality television concepts and pushing them to their logical conclusion, this time we focus on ‘lifestyle swaps’.

However, instead of letting a chav dole mole and a millionaire businesswoman swap roles for a couple of weeks, we have gone a step further – WE HAVE ACTUALLY TRANSPORTED THEIR HOUSES TO A DIFFERENT AREA OF THE COUNTRY.

Yes-!! We rip their houses up from their foundations, put them on the back of huge monster lorries, and transport them to their new location. Forget about red tape and planning regulations…we just don’t care!!!

In the pilot episode, Hayley moves her council house from a run-down estate in Lowestoft to an affluent part of Richmond-Upon-Thames, whilst in Richmond, self-made businesswoman Tracey has her five-bedroom detached Neoclassical home pulled up by its entrails and transplanted to Hayley’s vacant plot in Lowestoft.

Watch in amazement as Hayley is snubbed and avoided by her new neighbors, who complain that the new addition to their avenue is a ‘disgrace’, likely to ‘lower property prices in the area’ and ‘attract socially unwelcome elements to the neighborhood’.

While Hayley suffers little more than the snootiness of her new neighbors, it is definitely Tracey who receives the excrement-covered end of the stick.

From day one, her house (a comparative palace in its new surroundings) becomes a magnet for local feral children. At first she complains about these ‘degenerate children, hanging around outside, smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap alcohol’. However, after three days, her brand new BMW is vandalized, her house is burgled, and Tracey and her partner become virtual prisoners in their home.

However, the ultimate twist of the show is – THE CONTESTANTS DO NOT HAVE AN AUTOMATIC RIGHT TO RETURN BACK TO THEIR OLD LIVES AFTER A COUPLE OF WEEKS!!!

Due to the considerable expense incurred in relocating the properties in the first place, it is up to you, the viewers, to vote (via our premium rate phone lines) whether we should relocate their properties back to their original locations once the show has been aired.

Will Tracey ever return to Richmond-Upon-Thames (without severely digging into her own resources), or will you decide to leave her to rot in sink-estate purgatory?

Only you, the viewers, can decide – so make sure you tune in and don’t miss it!!!