Archive for November, 2006


Housework tips for lazy men, No#547

We all know that many men hate washing up, and are often happy to leave piles of cups, dishes and plates stinking in their kitchen sink and spreading disease. However, there is a simple workaround for those who simply cannot face doing the washing-up. Simply put all your dirty dishes in your shower then sprinkle […]

The worst evil christmas tool of them all?

What is happening? I have found yet more ominous notes pinned to my front door. The latest one is shown below. [It reads: “Drill Blitz is the most insane member of the Evil Tools. When he is opened at christmas he drills holes in six places. He normally starts with the head just above each […]

The Evil Tool Elf – fact or fiction ?

Sadly, I have no good news to report; in fact, the situation seems to escalating and getting worse day by day. This morning, I found the following picture pinned to my door. The last time I heard about the ‘Evil Tool Elf’ was at prep school. Every christmas, my old chum, Cuthbert Yoghurt-Pot, used to […]

the ‘Evil Christmas Tools’ are not going to go away…

More notes have been pinned to my front door: I do not remember great-uncle Randolph ever mentioning ‘Prance Hammer’. Maybe he came along later. However, I would not like to receive such an item in my Christmas Stocking…

more warnings of evil christmas tools…

After the ominous warning left on front door last week, I was unable to venture out of my apartment for several days. At the weekend, with provisions running low (I was down to my last bottle of champagne), I knew I had to venture out and face the world. However, I got no further than […]

WARNING: Maldolph the Christmas Mallet may be on the loose again…

I’m sorry if I have been unable to post anything on horseMEAT for a while; it is not because I have been busy (I only wish that were the truth). The truth is something far more sinister. A few days ago I awoke in a rather cheerful mood and breakfasted on smoked salmon and champagne. […]