more warnings of evil christmas tools…

After the ominous warning left on front door last week, I was unable to venture out of my apartment for several days.

At the weekend, with provisions running low (I was down to my last bottle of champagne), I knew I had to venture out and face the world.

However, I got no further than my front door because the moment I walked out of my apartment, I found another note pinned to the door:

[It reads: “This, like Maldolph, is another evil tool from Santa Claus. If you have been naughty, don’t be worried – Donnasaw is not the worst. If on opening a present you find you have Donnasaw you will just lose a finger from your left hand, usually the little one.”]

I grabbed the note and sidestepped back into my apartment. I bolted the door and barricaded the door with some furniture. I quickly phoned my friends who I instructed to bring me some emergency supplies of champagne, then sat down to figure out why this is happening all over again?

The last time I heard about the “Evil Christmas Tools” was during my childhood. During one Christmas spent in Italy, my great-uncle Randolph would scare me senseless with stories about these evil tools that could move about, talk, and get up to all manner of evil acts.

Many a night I lay in bed fearing that at any minute an evil saw would jump through the window and start hacking my fingers off – or an evil hammer or drill would ambush me and punish me for some minor misdemeanor.

As with many childhood tales, these lay buried and dormant in my mind until last week… And then I started to find these notes on my front door. Who is doing this? Or should I say “what” is doing this?

Either this is an elaborate practical joke (in very bad taste) or was great-uncle Randolph attempting to warn me about a very real danger?