The worst evil christmas tool of them all?

What is happening? I have found yet more ominous notes pinned to my front door. The latest one is shown below.

Drill Blitz

[It reads: “Drill Blitz is the most insane member of the Evil Tools. When he is opened at christmas he drills holes in six places. He normally starts with the head just above each ear, then one in each hand and foot. Although he is evil, he does like the odd game of TiddlyWinks, although don’t beat him!”]

Someone (or something) is obviously leaving these coded messages in a bid to frighten me. And it is working.
I have contacted all my friends and acquaintances and asked them NOT to send me any large packaged christmas presents (although I will gladly accept Champagne vouchers).

Anyway, I became so disturbed earlier that I called my old chum Darius Cheesegrater and sought his advice. He replied “Nigel. This is deadly serious. You need to hire a Private Detective and get to the bottom of this. I’ll make a few calls on your behalf. Ex-military chaps. They’ll know what to do.”

I felt a little better after that conversation. I opened my last bottle of champagne and sat down on my day bed and waited for Darius to get back to me.