Archive for February, 2007


A meeting to no purpose…

I have been so impressed with the efforts of our young Child Barrister associate (Paul Holt) that I decided to engineer a meeting between Paul, Nigel Bookbinder and myself. I gave Nigel a call and pleaded “Nigel, let’s put this tea-towel business behind us. I promise to stay well away from Tea-Towels in the future…” […]

A child barrister’s life is not a happy one…

Well, after the day I had on Monday, I felt that I needed to conclude the tale of aggravation and stress. After my mum sent me to my room without any tea, I waited until I knew that she was watching TV, then sat in bed under the covers reading my notes by torchlight and […]

A message from Paul Holt, (the famous Child Barrister).

Good day to all readers of horseMEAT! It is to my honor (as previously alluded to by Humphrey J. Bumphrey) that I have been invited to write some material for this esteemed site. Let me fully introduce myself. My name is Paul Holt, and what distinguishes me from other twelve year-old children is that apart […]

I’ll be going to the International Tea-Towel Festival next year…

Nigel, you are very much mistaken if you think that I can be kept away from the International Tea-Towel Festival next year. Even if I have to bribe my way in, or enter in disguise, you can bet that is what I will do. As for the minor charge that is hanging over my head […]

Chaos at the International Tea-Towel Festival…

What on earth have I done? I now realize that I have made a huge blunder by unwittingly alerting Humphrey to the existence of the annual International Tea-Towel Festival that is held each year in London. Apparently, not long after I had quietly slipped away, Humphrey vanished from Pot Noodle Island, and managed to get […]

I must go to that Tea-Towel Festival!!!

Ah Nigel, I am so disappointed that you were aware of the existence of an annual Tea-Towel Festival (and judging by what you say, have been secretly attending it for some years) yet you did not bother to inform me about it. [I am also disappointed that you chose to broadcast my private vices in […]

The Annual horseMEAT conference

In case you have wondered why there has been little activity on horseMEAT lately, the reason is that all the contributors have been attending the ‘Annual horseMEAT Conference’, held on Pot Noodle Island. After the obligatory fights with the locals in the Hotel Bar, the topics up for discussion have been: Black or Red ? […]