What a week!!! I had to travel to the headquarters of horseMEAT Enterprises Plc several times this week, due to a series of random break-ins.
Even though it was obvious that somebody (or some people) had smashed their way into the building, at first we slightly puzzled, as nothing appeared to have been stolen.
However, it was later reported that several female employees had asserted that various items of clothing and shoes that they had left in their offices had been stolen, and in a couple of cases, two young ladies stated that their clothes had obviously been ‘tampered with’ and were left in a heavily stained condition.
Therefore, we had to review several days of CCTV footage, and we are now closer to an answer. We believe that the individual pictured below is responsible for these acts.
If anybody knows the identity of this sexual deviant, please contact us. A reward of fifty thousand groats is available to anybody who can provide information that will lead to a successful prosecution.