Futuristic Dilemmas !!!

Well, what do you do with a building without stairs? Well, if you are unfamiliar with this conundrum, refer to the last post. I’ve only been able to broadcast this to the world via an old TELEX machine. Anyway, what do you do with a building without stairs. I had to bring in the world-famous architect Abdul-Azziz Smith.

He said to me. “Look, this is a fantastic building. Why do you need stairs? I’m not thinking 21st century. I’m thinking 23rd century. This could be a hub. It could be like a new Kowloon Walled City, but without stairs. Who needs to walk up and down stairs. It’s so old-fashioned…”

As much as I respect his reputation, I did have a couple of qualms. Firstly, if you don’t have stairs, how do you get up and down? He brushed that aside with a knowing wink and said “Forget about Google Glasses. Google are actually working on teleportation devices right now. It’s only known to a few software developers. It may take ten years or so. But imagine… If you need to pee, you will be able to teleport to the bathroom. Stairs will become a bit out-dated…”

I countered “Wasn’t Kowloon Walled City the biggest slum in Hong Kong? They demolished it..” He gave me a knowing look. He just stared me straight in the face and said “Soon, we will all be living in Kowloon Walled City…”

But he then went off on a different tangent and said “I’ve been watching the news. You know the Pope always drives around in a Pope Mobile. I think the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson should have a Boris Mobile. But what type?”

I replied “It’s so obvious. He would drive a clown-car. Like they do in a circus. It would come farting up the street, and all the doors would fall off, and Boris would climb out and declaim ‘Gosh!!! Cripes, my doors have fallen off…”

He intergected and stated “I think you are wrong. He needs a Weeble Car. Did you ever play with weebles when you were a child? Remember, Weebles Wobble but they don’t fall down. He just needs a life-size battery-powered Weeble Car.”

However, my assistant was listening to the conversation, and she said “Sorry for interrupting. But you know people are talking about Boris Johnson as the future Prime Minister. What about George Osbourne?? You may not be aware that his half-brother is Ozzy Osbourne. Apparently when Boris pulls off his coup and unseats Cameron, he is going to bring in Ozzy as Chancellor of the Exchequer.”

That is political dynamite. Boris and Ozzy Osbourne. Who wouldn’t vote for them…. Hey, they might have difficulties tying their shoe-laces, but they are popular…