Poodle Attack Xtreme !!!

Excellent News!!! The TV Channel UN-RE-AL-I.T.-TV9 will be relaunched in August thanks to generous backing from horseMEAT Enterprises Plc. Well, what will be on the new re-vamped line-up?

First of all, there will a new re-vamped series of Poodle Attack. This is no ordinary Poodle Attack. This is “Poodle Attack Xtreme” !!! In the first series we saw men who were forced to walk soppy dogs and were the laughing stock of the neighbourhood. We took these soppy dogs and turned them into trained killing machines. The neighbours stopped laughing once we unleashed the poodles on them !!!

This time we go one step further. We actually inject them with rabies. Watch as their neighbours barricade themselves indoors in terror as the rabid feral poodles jump up at their windows, foaming at the mouth and with death on their minds.

Also, there will be a new series of “Backstreet Tattoo Disasters”. We interview 15 year-old Kylie. She went to a guy who does tattooing in his kitchen. She wanted some stars tattooed on her neck, but the guy tattooed an erect penis and several swastikas over her neck. She complains “He’s disfigured me. I have to wear a polo neck top when I go out and boys laugh at me.” She then goes on to explain “He was drinking cans of Special Brew before he did it. I had a bad feeling at the time.”

We interview her Mum and ask her “Why the hell did you allow your 15 year old daughter to get tattooed?” and she replies “It was her birthday. It was a birthday present”.

So, if you like to watch TV shows about real people who are made to look like retarded fools, you will have to tune into the all new UN-RE-AL-I.T.-TV9.