Doris Tuttle and her Magic Kettle

Today, I had the fortune (or misfortune) to meet the world-renowned physicist Boris Parloff. When I first met him, I was struck by his size. I made a joke and said “Do people ever mistake you for Boris Karloff?”. At which point he pulled out a cut-throat razor and started shouting “If you ever say that again, I will slit your throat, then cut off your toes one by one with bolt-cutters”…

So, I was quiet, and we went into his laboratory. There have been rumors swirling around for years that he has had access to secret technology developed in Nazi Germany, then later worked upon by the Nazi underground in Argentina.

Very few people have ever had access to his laboratory, so I was careful to be guarded about what I asked him. However, he pointed towards a bell-shaped device with a small door on the side, and he said, “Go ahead. Sit in it”.

I asked “Is this a device that is going to blur space and time?”

He started laughing like a hyena and starting shouting “NO!!! YOU FOOL!!! I CAN’T BEND SPACE AND TIME!!! YOU ARE GOING TO GO AND SEE DORIS TUTTLE AND HER MAGIC KETTLE!!!”

He pressed a button and the device started to spin wildly… TBC…