Archive for the 'Evil Avocados / Evil Fruits' Category

The true history of Pope Avocado III

I managed to sneak off to my country pile and begin work on my monograph about the little known Pope Avocado III. The eleventh and twelfth centuries could not be described as a zenith for the Roman Catholic Church. Despite events such as the buildings of the great cathedrals and the general advance in learning […]

the problem of ‘evil fruit’ rears its head once again…

In reply to recent postings, I have just received an email from Alfred P. Yoghurt-Pot from Mobile, Alabama. He states: “Mr Denby. I read your postings about ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’. You think you know it all? Boy, have you a lot to learn! Here in this part of Alabama we have been contending with […]

a pivotal moment in the war against ‘evil fruit’?

Ever since my first sighting of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’ I have known that I have been taking a huge personal risk by writing about and documenting this phenomenon. Friends and colleagues warned me “Just ignore it. You can only come to harm if you generate this sort of publicity.” Over the last few weeks, […]

what does ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’ do in its spare time?

Further to recent sightings, we have received an intriguing email from a source who wishes to remain anonymous. He informs us: “I visited the bookies at lunchtime to put a small bet on the coming weekends football. On my way out, I crossed a small park adjacent to the betting shop. As the weather is […]

more historical evidence comes to light surrounding ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’

Jean-Paul LeBeq from Quebec, Canada emailed us after following the thread about ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’. He thanks us for publicizing this matter and told us: ________________________________________________________________________ “The knowledge about the power of this avocado has long been known within my immediate family circle. My grandfathers brother, Henri LeBeq, was undertaking a tour of North […]

more historical evidence about those ‘evil avocados’…

Following on from the previous post about historical sightings of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’, I was contacted again late last night by Damian Poodly who informed me: ——————————————————————————– “My great-great-grandfathers Archive appears to be a gold-mine. I found numerous old photographs featuring the fabled avocado.” “I have attached a copy of a photograph taken at […]

further historical proof regarding the existence of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’

As well as the recent sightings of ‘Michelmas the Evil Avocado’, we have now at last received some concrete evidence of historical sightings. Damian Poodly from West London contacted us and shared the following: ——————————————————————— “My great-great-grandfather, Edmund Poodly, was a quite well known traveller, archeologist and writer in his day. He spent a great […]

a potent and sobering warning about the danger of ‘evil avocados’…

It seems as if recent sightings of Michelmas the evil avocado have caused many people to share their experiences with us. Dean Kelly from Buffalo, New York informed us: “I arrived home from work on evening and upon entering the living room, I was horrified to see a ghoulish looking avocado perched in the V-Neck […]

more sightings of the dreaded avocado…

Further evidence of the misdeeds of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’ abounds. Roger Slater from Edinburgh, Scotland emailed us the following message: “One day I was cleaning my Bowling Trophies, and recoiled in horror when I saw an malicious-looking avocado grinning at me whilst sitting in one of my Bowling Cups. I attempted to knock the […]

My parents left me a fruit salad…

I like other horsemeat readers have been gripped by the recent sightings of ‘Michelmas The Evil Avocado’. True, I’d never heard of an avocado before but this triviality didn’t stop me in my enquires. Well actually it did. It stopped me dead in my tracks. I forgot all about it. I went to see De […]

a far more evil fruit…

I have just received an email from a party who wishes to keep his identity confidential. He states: ——————————————————- You think ‘Michelmas the evil avocado is particularly evil? Well you obviously know very little about the really evil sub-species of fruit-kind. Take for example ‘Xerxes the abominable apple’ Xerxes may appear once in a decade, […]

A historical perspective upon ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’…

Today, I am happy to share with our readers the contents of an illuminating letter sent to us by Watson Potson, Professor of Avocadology at the University of Montreal. ———————————————— I note with interest the recent publicity that you have generated with regard to ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’. This is a phenomenon that has vaster […]

how does Michelmas choose his victims?

Those of you who are now familiar with ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’ may ask: Why does he appear? How does he choose his victims? We are currently researching the first question, but have received an email from Arnold Brackhild, who states: “I think you credit Michelmas with more intelligence than he really deserves. See the […]

more sightings of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’

We have just received another disturbing report about a sighting of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’. Haroun Backslash, a software engineer from Nottingham, contacted us and stated: “I was looking for some books in my local library, and I saw the freakish avocado sitting on a shelf next to some books. I quickly took a picture […]

another sighting of ‘Michelmas the evil avocado’

Following the previous post, I have been contacted by a reader (who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of repurcussions) who stated: “I boarded a train at London Liverpool Street this morning, sat down, and saw an evil looking avocado grinning at me from the opposite seat. Luckily I was chatting on my mobile phone, […]