http://horsemeat.co.uk A resource for off-tangent thoughts and ideas... Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:39:34 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Merry Christmas dear readers. Wary of yet another 'traditional' Christmas, the team at horseMEAT decided to take a trip to Pot Noodle Island in order to relax and do something a little different. After booking into the "Hotel Scooby Doo" (which I must tell you is the most upmarket hotel on ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/12/29/the-trip-of-a-lifetime/ Just stop and think for a minute. Christmas is approaching, and whilst most people are considering the financial costs, few consider the other hidden costs. It is estimated that each year, one hundred thousand leprechauns are killed in Ireland solely to ensure that people in England can tuck into their traditional ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/11/21/a-moral-outrage/ Given the current news diet of economic doom and gloom, it seems that every time you open a newspaper (if you can afford a newspaper) you will see an article on the theme of "Twenty ways to save money this Christmas". Most articles will give advice such as "make your own ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/11/20/how-to-save-money-this-christmas/ Well, I spent last weekend down at my place in the country, and who should show up but none other than my errant young nephew Cornelius. He was sporting a most outrageous hairstyle, with clumps of hair stuck up into huge tusk-like spikes. "How on earth do you manage to get your ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/10/02/a-jolly-weekend/ Good day to all readers of horseMEAT. I recently was invited to the opening night of a new restaurant in Clerkenwell named "Kidney Stone". From the diverse menu, I chose the following items: STARTER: Snail Poo Salad, served on a bed of the finest gravel. MAIN COURSE: Spicy Leprechaun stew, served with deep fried ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/09/19/the-best-meal-in-several-years/ I received a telephone call from Humphrey earlier, and he appeared in a very excitable mood. "Guess what I've just bought!" he asked, then continued "No. No. I can't tell you. Just go outside and I'll be round in five minutes." Obviously this would turn out to be some unimportant piece of ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/08/19/your-ideal-car/ Yet more obscure posters have been appearing, often in bus shelters or railway stations. Maybe this really is part of some obscure healthy eating campaign, or possibly a campaign to promote greater understanding of offal in a wider sense. I myself will be tucking into a bowl of spicy fried tripe this ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/05/26/eat-tripe/ What a day!!! I was roused from my sleep at 7am by a telephone call. I tried to ignore it, but it kept ringing and ringing and became hard to ignore. When I answered, I realised it was my old school chum Tarquin. He was rambling and shouting down the ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/05/20/facts-figures-and-talking-calculators/ More strange posters have been appearing all over the city. This is but one example: Obviously this could be part of a Healthy Eating campaign. But where does this PLONK character fit into the equation? I have been making extensive enquiries, but nobody seems to know exactly who he is, and lots ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/05/04/eat-cabbage/ I must admit that I have become rather intrigued because I keep seeing the poster shown below plastered all over buildings in the city. Just who is this Plonk character? What is he about? What are his policies? Can we trust him? I have asked several people, and they appear to be ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/04/10/vote-for-plonk/ Earlier this evening I popped out to buy a jar of coffee from the corner shop. Upon entering the shop, who did I see standing in the queue? None other than ex-Big Brother fruit-loop Jade Goody and several other Z-List Celebrities who were engaged in a very loud and continuous ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/04/04/pot-noodle-attack/ Last night I dreamt that the next President of the United States of America will be Mr Mungbean Johnson. I could dismiss this as the by-product of an overworked mind, but I have been thinking about this all day. The name Mungbean Johnson is somehow familiar, and I am sure that ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/03/06/milky-turnips/ I recently watched a television programme entitled "When Fish Can Kill!!!î I was expecting to spend an hour watching individuals being savaged by piranhas and sharks, but was disappointed when all I saw was a procession of boring individuals who sat moaning about their experiences of suffering food poisoning or ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/03/02/when-fish-can-kill/ Being a famous Child Barrister, I hear lots of complaints from my clients on a daily basis. You may assume that the most common complaints relate to the unfairness of the Legal System or the size of my fees. However, you may be surprised to hear the most common compliant I hear ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/10/06/the-most-common-complaint/ All readers of horseMEAT are probably aware by now that 1 November is "National Top-Hat Day". We have been rather disappointed in recent years about the lack of attention given to this important and symbolic day, and the absence of Top-Hat wearing gentlemen on Britain's streets. However, we were heartened by David ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/10/04/national-top-hat-day/