http://horsemeat.co.uk A resource for off-tangent thoughts and ideas... Sun, 04 May 2008 19:36:29 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en More strange posters have been appearing all over the city. This is but one example: Obviously this could be part of a Healthy Eating campaign. But where does this PLONK character fit into the equation? I have been making extensive enquiries, but nobody seems to know exactly who he is, and lots ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/05/04/eat-cabbage/ I must admit that I have become rather intrigued because I keep seeing the poster shown below plastered all over buildings in the city. Just who is this Plonk character? What is he about? What are his policies? Can we trust him? I have asked several people, and they appear to be ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/04/10/vote-for-plonk/ Earlier this evening I popped out to buy a jar of coffee from the corner shop. Upon entering the shop, who did I see standing in the queue? None other than ex-Big Brother fruit-loop Jade Goody and several other Z-List Celebrities who were engaged in a very loud and continuous ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/04/04/pot-noodle-attack/ Last night I dreamt that the next President of the United States of America will be Mr Mungbean Johnson. I could dismiss this as the by-product of an overworked mind, but I have been thinking about this all day. The name Mungbean Johnson is somehow familiar, and I am sure that ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/03/06/milky-turnips/ I recently watched a television programme entitled "When Fish Can Kill!!!î I was expecting to spend an hour watching individuals being savaged by piranhas and sharks, but was disappointed when all I saw was a procession of boring individuals who sat moaning about their experiences of suffering food poisoning or ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2008/03/02/when-fish-can-kill/ Being a famous Child Barrister, I hear lots of complaints from my clients on a daily basis. You may assume that the most common complaints relate to the unfairness of the Legal System or the size of my fees. However, you may be surprised to hear the most common compliant I hear ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/10/06/the-most-common-complaint/ All readers of horseMEAT are probably aware by now that 1 November is "National Top-Hat Day". We have been rather disappointed in recent years about the lack of attention given to this important and symbolic day, and the absence of Top-Hat wearing gentlemen on Britain's streets. However, we were heartened by David ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/10/04/national-top-hat-day/ I'm sure that most people have watched movies such as Toy Story or Small Soldiers where the whole plot revolves around children's toys springing to life when the humans are not about and getting into various scrapes. I guess certain people will remember programs such as Bagpuss, which followed the same ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/07/12/what-the-toys-really-get-up-to-when-you-are-not-about/ As I may be leaving the United Kingdom for a considerable amount of time, I needed to give some thought to the problem of whom I can trust to oversee my legal affairs whilst I am away. Some of my affairs are of so delicate a nature that I decided not ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/05/17/parrot-of-attorney/ It occurred to me today that I have never owned a pair of shoes that contains any pockets. When you consider that most items of clothing can be bought with pockets, why not shoes? It would make practical sense to create extra storage space within your footwear. Therefore, I sewed a couple ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/05/12/shoe-pockets/ I must admit that I rarely watch television these days, not overtly due to lack of time, but mainly due to the poor quality of most programmes. Instead, I watch this. It's better than Eastenders.... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/05/06/entertainment/ Apologies for the lack of activity on horseMEAT over recent weeks. This is simply due to the fact that our contributors have been extremely busy with other matters. Our editor and chief contributor, Nigel Bookbinder has been rather downcast after failing to get his new periodical, "Le Noveaue Moderne Edwardian" off ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/04/12/microcosm-or-macrocosm/ Today, being the second Wednesday of the month is the date for the monthly horsemeat editorial meeting, held at Nigel Bookbinder’s apartment. On the pavement outside Nigel’s block, I noticed Humphrey J. Bumphrey sitting on the side of the pavement, dropping small objects down the drain. I walked over and stood ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/03/07/money-down-the-drain/ After the recent chaotic meeting between Nigel Bookbinder and Paul Holt (the famous twelve-year old Child Barrister), I decided to arrange a new meeting in the hope that a meeting of two such great minds would spark off a lively debate. However, I was quite surprised when Paul turned up with ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/03/03/tainted-genius/ I have been so impressed with the efforts of our young Child Barrister associate (Paul Holt) that I decided to engineer a meeting between Paul, Nigel Bookbinder and myself. I gave Nigel a call and pleaded "Nigel, let's put this tea-towel business behind us. I promise to stay well away from ... http://horsemeat.co.uk/2007/02/20/a-meeting-to-no-purpose/